The Single Social Worker

This post might have been more appropriate for Valentine's Day but since my blog didn't exist then I will be discussing the single social worker now!

By being single, I mean living alone, or having a roommate, and not being in an ongoing relationship with a significant other.  I don't mean to exclude but since I have always been a single social worker that is the only perspective I have.

I remember when I moved across the country for my first social work job.  Many people thought I was courageous, especially when I told them I had moved alone.  That meant navigating airports, trying to find a place to live and buying a vehicle without the assistance of someone else.  Most definitely it was overwhelming since I did not have a lot of experience in any of these areas.  Looking back, I can see that I could have gotten a better deal for my vehicle but hey, the past is the past and I know better for next time!

In a way I suppose I was lucky that I had roommates in the beginning as there was always a couple of them willing to discuss the day with me.  Also, they were not involved with social work so they could give me their objective opinions.  And I guess it made it less lonely knowing that at least there was always another person around.

When I eventually moved into my own apartment I realised the importance of making friends outside of work to expand my horizon and to make the evenings and weekends less quieter.  However, as I go busier at work I appreciated the ability to sleep in and have naps whenever I wanted to! 

Managing a home including paying for my own utilities and internet was something new I also had to learn and many times with my job it felt like the responsibilities were too much.  Unpacking alone, cleaning alone and completing about a hundred other little tasks alone often felt insurmountable when I was already feeling burnt out from work.

Something that fascinated me however when I talked to my co-workers with families was how they managed to handle all the additional tasks that comes with being a wife/mother.  I honestly didn't know how they could do it.  I wondered how they could have enough energy to give to another person at the end of the day.  I know for me, I always enjoyed the sense of peace and tranquillity that met me when I returned home at the end of the day and I also appreciated the fact that I could put off cleaning etc. to a later time if I was not in the mood to do it.  I guess it's a matter of accountability.  I enjoyed only having to be accountable to myself and not having to compromise. 

I admit however that I could have used the extra help in the beginning but now that I am more settled in my career I feel like I've got the household duties under control.  Overall I feel I can manage my work and home life and this gives me a sense of happiness and pride.

I do wonder about the distraction however.  The "hi honey, how was your day" aspect of having a partner since it would keep me from ruminating about work at times.

These days women are more than capable of being able to support themselves with the right job - which I can attest to.  In many ways I am very blessed to have the salary and benefits that come with my job which allows me to be independent.  There is the stress that comes with the responsibility, however the trade off is most definitely worth it to me.