Inspiring Letter to Social Workers

A Letter of Thanks to All Social Workers in the World

-by SequoiaProject on Jun 1, 2010

Dear Social Workers,

The work you do matters. On the days when you are burnt out, and questioning if it does, take a few moments to read this letter.

I was 12-years old when I first met Dale. I was lost in a world of institutions and dormitories for the last few years. The reasons why I didn’t understand. At the time I thought I was broken and no good. I later learned it was my home that was broken. My father was an abusive alcoholic and kept his entire family in a constant state of fear. My mother ran out on the family when I was 3. The county became involved when schools noticed behavior problems. A decision was made to put me into the institutions that could maybe help.

Dale explained to me that he was a social worker, and that he promised to help find a regular home an family for me. I liked that idea! I had no clue what a ‘social worker’ was but he seemed really kind. I also didn’t know what a regular home or family was like either. There was a side of me that wished him luck in finding this home. I was convinced that nobody really cared.

Dale kept his word. It took a little while but I’ll never forget our driving away from the huge and cold institution I had been at. The place meant well but it was no place to grow up. I remember, to this day, how much faith and trust I had in Dale. I didn’t want to show him these things because I was used to disappointment and rejection. I played the tough kid role and acted like it didn’t matter. It did though. The ‘tough’ kid act was a defensive wall I had learned to put up, so I could pretend nothing could hurt me.

The foster home he introduced me to became the home he promised. I wish I could say that life suddenly became easier but it didn’t. I, again, had trouble in school and in this new home. What I did have though were people around me who really cared. I pushed the envelope all the way too. I was convinced that if I acted up bad enough Dale would give up on me and the family would send me away. It was my way of testing and seeing if these things would happen.

This was over 35 years ago. I just talked with him on the phone a few weeks back. He has retired and was preparing to move to a new town. He and his wife wanted to be closer to a daughter (who was soon to have triplets). He called simply to share what his new address was and phone number. I know his wife and have watched his children have little ones of their own. Never in personal ways but always being kept up to date on their lives. I hope they will someday read this and know it is their father I am writing about.

The next time you are questioning whether your work matters believe that it does. He never judged me or was mean. His voice was the only compassionate sound I heard, during some of my darkest and confusing hours of my young life. We did not always get along and agree on things either. When I became an adult he helped guide me as a friend. I did not understand, at 18, why he could no longer have the same contact with me, but as the years passed we simply became friends. So the next time little Johnny has you pulling your hair out, questioning everything, read this simple letter. You do make a difference. Please forward this to every social worker you know.

Sincerely,

A once lost child.

The Sequoia Project

Protecting Your Physical Health as a Social Worker

Just as important as protecting your mental health is ensuring that you are meeting your physical health needs as a social worker.

Many physical complaints are caused by stress in the field of social work.  Tense shoulders and neck are some indicators that you might be feeling a lot of stress.  Social workers also might have somatic complaints such as a sore or uneasy stomach which are indicators of internalizing the go-go-go nature of the job and the often lack of control we have.

Sitting at a computer for long periods of time could cause eye strain, headaches, migraines, or carpel tunnel syndrome.  One solution to this problem is to take regular breaks away from your desk.  Also, try and break up the day between paperwork and home visits which will give you more exercise than just sitting at your desk all day and relief if you usually spend days at a time on the road.

Taking regular meal breaks is also important and it might mean saying no to things that can wait until after you have had your lunch.  It's unhealthy for you to skip meals and just live off coffee or pop to get you through the day.  I always suggest to people to have a stash of healthy snacks at the office for when hunger strikes, and to always have something handy in your purse/bag in case you are away from the office for significant periods of time and there is no place to get food.

Getting enough rest to combat physical symptoms of a stressful job is also helpful.  Try not to nap as soon as you get home, even if you are exhausted.  Go to bed an hour or two early if you are truly that tired so that you can sleep through the night.  Try to avoid reading/watching the news before bed or exposing yourself to anything stressful since it will make it hard for you to fall asleep.  If you are a social worker that tends to wake up in the night thinking about things you need to do tomorrow, keep a piece of paper handy by your bed to write down notes so that you can get it off your mind and go back to sleep.  If you have had a particularly upsetting day writing in a journal might be helpful to get your feelings out since holding them in is NEVER a good idea.  And if there are times that you work late into the night or have to get up extra early for work, try to replace the sleep that you lost as soon as possible or else waking up in the morning is going to get really hard in just a short amount of time.

Doing relaxing yoga or attending a gym can also bring about a release of physical tension.  It might help to settle your body and mind after a stressful day of work so that you can spend the evening relaxed.  It can also create additional social opportunities for you.

Lastly, make sure you take off time that is owed to you.  This could include banked overtime hours or vacation time.  The work is always going to be there and there is no perfect time to take a vacation.  Your clients will always be angry that you're "leaving them" and your boss is always going to wonder how all the work is going to get finished while you are away, both will survive.  However, you won't, at least physically. of you don't give yourself occasional breaks from the unrelenting pace of social work.

Protecting Your Mental Health as a Social Worker

I have be where this woman is at.  She looks tired, stressed, lost and confused and those are not good places to be.

I have met many social workers who are now on depression and anxiety medication as a result of their jobs.  They seem to be in an endless cycle of burnout and stress whereby their symptoms only get exasperated by not enough down time at work and bosses who either ignore the problem or don't care.

At any social work agency I have ever worked for, we have never had guest speakers, meetings or learning opportunities to discuss our mental health - even though things like compassion fatigue, burnout and post traumatic stress disorder effects many social workers on the front line.  Since social workers are part of the group of helping professionals they require special care just like their clients.  Without proper support and recognizing the inherent mental health risks associated with this field we are doing not only a disservice to ourselves, but also our co-workers, and clients when we are not performing at our best.

Very few agencies offer designated "mental health days" so social workers use their regular sick days for mental health issues i.e. like if they just can't get out of bed that day or they are experiencing an emotional crisis.  Imagine, as social workers we try and help the most needy of people and put our heart on the line for them everyday.  Then, when we come home we are expected to handle complex emotional relationships with friends and families.  Sometimes the expectations just feel too high.

Taking a stress leave is another option if your symptoms get worse enough where you can no longer do your day to day work.  However, we often worry about stigma in the office and feel guilty about overloading our co-workers with our files when we are gone.  And usually when we return there are twice as many things we have to deal with and correct than from before we left.

Many agencies, especially child welfare agencies have been running the same way for a long time.  Budgets only allow for so many workers so it means social workers are given ever increasing workloads, which is very precarious if you work in an emergency or crisis driven area (i.e. you get NO mental breaks).

Overall the workload can be so relentless that taking time even for a bathroom break can be a challenge.  Oftentimes social workers are given empty promises that the workload will get better soon but it doesn't, or if it does the workload only lessons a little until the next emergency.

So how do social workers cope with this?  Some concede that they are working in a flawed system whereby they will never be able to do the best work possible.  They ignore clients complains about a lack of services and they do not take it personally that they are rarely available.  If you are of the other social work group then it becomes crushing how few clients you feel that you actually have time to help, and then you begin to internalize these feelings.  And if you mention your depression or anxiety with other co-workers or supervisors who have been around for a long time at the agency, you will notice many of them have become jaded and are unsympathetic to your concerns.  The most sympathy and support you will likely receive will be from new grads or other new hires.

No one can take responsibility for your mental health but you.  If you notice that your job is having a considerable negative affect on your mental health, talk to your family and doctor about it.  Seeing a counselor might help with providing you with coping techniques, but if your stress is mostly caused by work then it might be time to look at another social work job within the agency, in another field of social work, or leave the field entirely before you have lost all of your mental health resiliency.

When to Say No as a Social Worker

I don't know why but as professionals, social workers seem to have one of the hardest times saying no.  Maybe it's because we are seen as so giving, understanding, and sympathetic that both bosses and clients believe they can walk all over us.  I think not!


Many social workers, especially new to the field or new to a job agree with everything that is requested of them, which often goes against simple logic.  Social workers are expected to finish competing tasks immediately (i.e. an important meeting and a report) and work in situations which are logically unsafe.  This would include working in the late evening and completing a home visit alone in a dangerous neighbourhood with a client who is a convicted sex offender or who has been convicted of physical assault.  Sometimes having a cellphone handy just isn't enough in these situations as the worker could easily become overpowered, especially if this client has had time to "prepare" for your visit.  I have heard of several social workers who have been sexually assaulted in these types of situations, situations they NEVER should have been in in the first place.

I have had supervisors scoff at my need for safety saying they had never gotten hurt on the job but all it takes is one incident to change your life forever.  And these incidents will have a lasting affect on not only the social worker's career but also their personal life.

There is nothing wrong with standing your ground when it comes to saying no, in regards to safety or anything else.  You can always turn the tables on your supervisor/agency by saying such things as:

• I see that you want me to complete two important things at once, since I only have a limited amount of time, which task is the priority?
• You have given me several things that need to be completed in a short amount of time, I am just making you aware that I can't complete them all at once but I will finish them as soon as I can.
• I understand that I need to meet with this client, since no other worker is available to come to their home with me, I am going to schedule the visit at the office.
• I know that you want me to meet immediately with this client but I am waiting for another worker to come available so that he/she can attend with me due to safety concerns.  Do you have a problem with this?
• In the past, several coworkers have had issues with this client.  What suggestions do you have in regards to ensuring my safety when I must work with this client?
• I know that I must apprehend/intervene in this situation but I do not feel comfortable going without the police.  I understand this is an emergency situation but I need a professional there to ensure MY safety.
• You have given me a lot of tasks lately and been asking on progress reports.  I want to let you know that I am doing my best to complete them but the amount of time given to finish these tasks is just not enough for me.  What suggestions do you have to improve this situation?

A lot of time supervisors will just dump work on you and expect you to smile and somehow be a superwoman/superman and finish it in record time.  But this type of work ethic cannot last forever since it will lead to the dreaded word: BURNOUT.  You need to take care of yourself, and try and pace your day wisely since emergencies will always come up and non-emergencies will continue to get bumped down the line.  I always recommend turning it back on your supervisor to remind them that their expectations for you are not realistic as not only are you standing up for yourself, but also for your coworkers.  I can't guarantee that your supervisor won't complain about this, or wish they had hired a sheep instead of someone with their own brain but being honest is generally the right thing to do.

Also, in regards to your safety, no one should care more about it than yourself.  You ALWAYS have the right to say no if you feel like you are going into an unsafe situation with not enough precautions taken.  It's better to plan ahead and be safe then have your life changed forever by one dangerous encounter with a client.

Deciding Which Client Population to Work With

This is ultimately one of the most important decisions that a social worker can make regarding their career.  As students social workers usually get a first taste of what populations they are comfortable and enjoy working with during their field internships.  Or they might stumble into an area depending on the types of jobs available after graduation.

Social factors can also have an impact on which clients we work with.  Your family might have a history with the medical field, i.e. in your family there are many doctors, nurses and other health professions so you may feel comfortable carrying on with this tradition.  A family member or friend might also have had an experience with a social worker in the past and had a great experience.  This could have been your inspiration to enter the field and you might follow suit with the type of agency that the social worker worked for.

I believe that when someone decides they want to study social work they have a picture in their mind of the type of work they will be doing and where.  It could include working with veterans, children, street populations, the physically or mentally ill, seniors, those who are incarcerated and so on.  Once you actually begin working with a specific population you may decide that you love it or that it is not a good fit at all.  And if ever you begin to question why you got into the field it may help you to remember those initial feelings you had when you first decided you wanted to be a social worker.

It may take several jobs in different areas of social work until you find your niche.  I know many social workers where this has been the case.  Ignoring from family and friends, why can't you just settle down in one place? might be necessary until you finally click with a job.

Things to consider when deciding which client populations to work with include:

• Which client groups do I have experience with?  Did I enjoy those experiences?
• What areas am I naturally inclined to, the quick pace of a hospital or the steady atmosphere of a counselling centre?  Take a hard look at your personality to see what work environment best suits you.
• Are there any client populations that you just do not feel comfortable working with?  I.e., you might be concerned about your safety when working in a prison.
• Is there a client group that is just too close to you emotionally whereby you feel it would affect you negatively if you worked in that field?  I.e. a seniors home if you recently lost an older parent or relative.
• Where do you see yourself heading in your career?  Do you want to continue doing front line work or would you eventually like to work up to management?  Depending on the agency there might be limited opportunities to move up.
• What do your overall instincts tell you?  I.e. do you want to be a school social worker but know deep down that you have a hard time working with troubled youth or other professionals (teachers or administrators) that may have a hard time grasping your role?
• What are the pay and benefits like with the populations you would like to work with.  I.e. working with street populations usually includes working for a non-profit agency which may have a lower salary and limited benefits when compared to working for an institution which is entirely provincially funded.

Whatever client population you decide to work with, do lots of research first including volunteering or starting casual.  You want to make sure that you are comfortable physically, emotionally, and mentally with the type of clients that you choose to work with.

Multitasking and the Social Worker

An essential part of being a social worker is multitasking.  You are expected to juggle phone calls, emails, meetings, home visits and surprise visits to the office all with ease and grace.  You are not supposed to show frustration or tiredness for trying to keep up with the relentless pace.

Oftentimes you are supposed to keep about twenty things floating around in your head at once and if you forget a deadline, don't worry, someone will IMMEDIATELY remind you.  And believe me, your work ethic, professionalism and commitment to the job will be questioned if multitasking efficiently is not your strong suit.  Since overall: absent minded people need not apply in the field of frontline social work.

Everyone quickly develops their own system to multitask including creating reminders on your computer, writing to do lists and so on.  Once you have a system that works for you and that you are comfortable with DO NOT let others change your system because it's different from theirs.  As long as you are able to get your work done in a timely fashion stick to it.  I have seen some social workers comfortable with a ton of papers on their desk while others have them all neatly filled.

Multitasking also includes trying to schedule breaks in between meetings with clients so that you have time to check messages and handle any paperwork that needs to get done.  When you first arrive at the office, prioritise what is most important to complete that day and get those done first thing as it is inevitable that emergencies will come up during the day and derail your perfectly planned schedule.

The worst thing about multitasking is if your supervisor says you MUST attend a certain meeting, or get a report done RIGHT AWAY when you had other things scheduled.  If you honestly do not believe you can fit everything in as a result without losing your sanity then reschedule less important meetings.  It is ok and you should not feel bad about not being superwoman/superman.  It is better to have breaks during the day where you can actually breathe and think then to rush from one thing to another and appear like a chicken with it's head cut off!

And sometimes multitasking just does not work.  You may need a paper day and it is perfectly alright to let the non-emergency emails and phone calls slide.  And if someone truly needs to get a hold of you because of a pressing emergency then they will find you.  Remember, when you set boundaries for yourself regarding your time and what you can handle, not only will your coworkers respect you more, but so will your clients.

The Social Work Lifestyle

I think this picture greatly represents the daily work life of the social worker.  This woman looks like she could be rushing to court, or maybe to an important meeting and it seems she didn't have a chance to take a proper break/lunch.  Sound familiar?

This used to be a daily ritual for me.  Quickly eating my snacks at my desk or sadly, while on the phone with clients if I was really starving - but of course I tried to do it covertly!  Or if I needed to just get away from it all and did not have a legitimate excuse to leave the building, ie. no home visits scheduled that day, I would take short breaks by leisurely walking to the restroom.  While inside I would take several minutes to touch up my makeup, make sure my outfit was neat and just generally BREATHE.  It's sad but I had to go there to take a break because if I was visible anywhere in the officer there was always something that a worker needed to see me about.  Sometimes you just have to stop the rush and collect your thoughts.  And it's not something to feel guilty about because it makes you a better worker when you actually have time to reflect on the important decisions you have to make.

So of course from missing or cramming meals as I mentioned above, you then get to experience stomach problems as you cannot digest your food properly or you are so hungry that your stomach threatens to throw a revolt if you do not eat something immediately.  And get used to people invading your space when you are trying to take a break as I countlessly had other workers stop by my desk while I was eating and it didn't seem to bother them a bit.  I can understand if it's lunchtime and everyone is eating or if it's an emergency but come on people, we have to let our coworkers enjoy their food!

Another part of the lifestyle is wearing dress clothes, unless you work for a relaxed agency, it's casual Friday or you work for an organisations where you are required to wear uniforms.  So a good part of your salary in the beginning is finding appropriate work attire and of course a suit or two for court if your job involves speaking before a judge or testifying.   The one bad thing is if you say, work with children or youth it makes it challenging to play with toys or play a game of basketball while you are wearing high heels and dress clothes.  One thing to consider as well is slip on shoes if you have to do home visits as they are easier to get on if you have to leave in an emergency.  The same goes for shoes that cover you whole foot in case you accidentally step in something unexpected!

Other aspects of the lifestyle include going in to work early if you have to prepare for a meeting which starts off your work day or staying late to deal with paperwork or a crisis.  So usually when you get home you are very exhausted, and not likely in the mood to cook or do housework.  Say hello to tv dinners and/or a very forgiving partner who let's you just relax when you get home.  And if you are reminded that in the near future you need to pay bills, go grocery shopping and so on it will probably make you want to scream as it did me.  I just could not take another suggestion which already added to my miles high to do list.  It was like my brain could not handle even one extra ounce of responsibility.  Then by the end of the evening you have probably fallen asleep on the couch which your butt has been parked on for the last couple of hours because you are just so tired.  But then don't forget to wake up several times in the night worrying about your clients, a decision you have made, or worrying about your to do list for work tomorrow,

Then it's pretty much rinse, recycle and repeat until the possibility of obtaining a work/life balance comes up at your current job, you get a new one, or you eventually leave the field entirely if you just can't keep up with the crazy pace.

Choosing the Right Social Work School for You

In some parts of Canada where I live there is an abundance of social work schools.  Some offer four year, three year or two year undergrad programs while masters programs range from one year to more depending on if you are attending in class or by distance.

To start off, the first question you need to ask yourself is if you have done enough research about the field.  Perhaps you worked as a support worker and saw first hand what social workers do, or you have a family member or friend who is a social worker, or you have had direct experience with receiving assistance from a social worker and feel that you want to help others too or that you can do the job much better!

You have to carefully examine your reasons for entering the field.  Do you want to save everyone (which is highly unrealistic) or do you want to work in a helping profession whereby you feel like you will not get too emotionally involved (which is very hard to do)?

Talk to people who know you best, like friends, family members and former teachers.  Where do your talents naturally lie?  Do you usually volunteer and like helping others?  Do you enjoy social sciences and writing reports?  I am asking these questions because some people eventually find out that they would rather not work one on one with clients for forty hours a week, or they hate all the writing involved etc.  If this is the case then it is more challenging to find a social work job that will be a good fit for you.  Actually in this case you might do best by skipping social work school altogether and say, volunteer instead.  Your family members might also be able to point out personality or value conflicts which might make studying and then succeeding at social work difficult.  Some people cannot handle constant stress, multi-tasking and occasionally being abused which unfortunately can happen with this job.

Moving on, after you have done enough research to determine that this is the right fit for you, you have to find a school to attend.  You can attend a local university or university college that offers a social work program, or you can look to ones that are further away.  Some people want to remain at home to save money while others see going away to school as an adventure.

Checking the application dates is important as many applications are due in the Fall/early Winter.  There are grade point cut offs, or certain courses you may need to take as prerequisites.  Also, some schools have an educational equity component to their admissions while others operate more like a lottery.  

Then, depending on how much schooling you already have, you could qualify for various points of entry into a social work program.  Here are some examples:

One year of general university study - Need to complete three years of social work studies for your social work degree


General or Honours degree - Need to complete two to three years of social work studies for your social work degree


Honours degree - Need to complete two years of social work studies for undergraduate social work degree or complete a pre-masters program in social work to be able to qualify for a Masters degree in social work

When I applied for my undergrad degree in social work, no two universities across the country were alike in their admission requirements.  How I made my decision was to apply to schools were I already had all the requirements since I did not want to take addition courses (I know, how lazy of me!).  But I was flexible about where I wanted to go to school so it worked out for me.  I have known other people who have one local school in mind and do everything they need to do to get into that school.  I have seen people apply many times to the social work program (where they had all the admission requirements but there were a lot of applicants) until they finally got in.  It just might take some persistence.

Also, take a look at the courses that each of the different schools offer.  Do some seem better suited to you?  What about internship opportunities?  The more internship hours the better!  Also, what about the school's and faculty's reputation?  Are there any open houses you can attend?  What about when you contact the faculty, are they friendly and helpful when answering your questions?  What about opportunities to get involved in the faculty, are there student organisations which you can participate in or opportunities to find part time work in the faculty?

Lastly, choose a school that YOU feel good about.  Can you truly imagine yourself attending?  If you change your mind about the school or the program, that's ok too.  Overall, it's better to listen to your instincts and if it's meant to work out, it will!

Second Guessing Yourself

This is something that I have been struggling with lately in regards to my career.  I have made a decision about a new direction that I want to go in, taking a more administrative path with social work, but I am having a hard time coming to terms with this decision.

I love social work, however I am getting burnt out with the front line nature of the field.  As some family members have mentioned, I underestimate how sensitive I am and my clients issues touch my heart deeply.  I know that I am good at my job, caring, empathetic, determined and honest, however it's the juggling of home visits, meetings and being on call which is becoming too much for me.  It has taken me many mistakes to finally come to this realisation but I did make it a little while ago.  Since then I have been trying to find appropriate social work jobs that fit my new requirements and this has definitely not been easy!

Sometimes I wonder if I am copping out but it is my career and I do have to find the path that best suits my personality, values, abilities and natural strengths.  I can see myself having a more administrative social work job but actually taking that step is proving to be hard.  I can't stop second guessing myself.  I know that I have to trust my heart and intuition but it hurts when you created career goals which no longer matches who you are.  I made a lot of compromises for my health and safety in the past and now it is a non-negotiable issue for me.

Honestly the most challenging part is waiting until you can make the step that you want to make.  I have started to line things up to make my move but there are still a thing or two that I have to wait for before I can make the leap.  And it's so painful having to wait since it gives me more time to question myself.

We all have fears and negative thoughts sometimes when we want to do something different, especially if it is "out of the ordinary" for us but I guess it will make us stronger when we push past these obstacles to finally get where we both need and want to be.

Inspiring Poem for Social Workers

To mark over two months of blogging and two hundred views I thought I would show you a poem that I found online which demonstrates that sometimes all it takes is a smile to let you know you are making a difference!


And Then There was a Smile
Written by Laurie Eytel, CVA


A parent came with a burden to bear
They came looking for guidance
And perhaps a kind word


You saw their challenge
And decided to help
Your caring voice opened a door


A child came in looking quite sad
And then another, with defiance
And you welcomed them all


They all came with stories
Which were all unique
You offered your help - and you listened


You may have provided a meal
You may have provided gifts
You may have provided guidance

You may have worked behind the scenes
But slowly a change came about
The mood seemed lighter

And then there was a smile,
Maybe first from you
Then maybe from a child, a parent


It made all the difference to those you touched, the child, the parent looked to you and then there was a smile!


Thank you for the smiles you provide!

Redefining Success as a Social Worker

I believe that many of us had ideals about what social work would be like when we entered the field.  We could have imagined ourselves doing selfless advocacy work, greatly empowering others or miraculously saving our clients from addiction, crime, abuse, poverty etc.  Then when we got into the field we realised that there may not be as many opportunities to truly help others as we had imagined.  Or maybe it has occurred to us that we might not be the best at multitasking, handling crises or completing paperwork in an accurate and timely manner.

Of course there is a learning curve when you are new but you might reach a point after several months or years that there are aspects of social work that plays to your weaknesses.  Maybe you just never could get a handle on writing twenty page reports and find the administrative part of social work drab and annoying.  Then an alternate may be a social work position which means spending more time with clients.  Or you could feel that spending a majority of your time with clients gives you less time to focus on aspects of social work which you really enjoy such as policy.

Oftentimes we don't know what our strengths are until we start our careers as social workers.  Our family, school advisers or other mentors may push us in one direction when we feel that our strengths lie in another. Maybe we dreamt of having a very prestigious social work position but when we got there it occurred to us that we did not feel completely comfortable in that role.

Social work is great in that it affords us many opportunities to work in fields such as child welfare, hospitals, nursing homes, prisons, schools and so on.  Yet it can also be a hinder when you have to search through each area to find your fit.

After some self discovery you might come to accept that to you success does not mean a lot of money, but of working in an environment where you feel like you can greatly contribute with all the social work talents that you possess.

Guilt, Forgiveness and the Social Worker

Many social workers I know feel guilty a good amount of the time.  They are guilty when it comes to their clients, not being able to meet with them as often as they would like and feeling bad when they have to make decisions that they know their client will not understand or like.  Then there is guilt in their personal lives, which include not being able to spend enough time with loved ones because of the long hours that social work entails or feeling that they are lagging with volunteering, religious, or school commitments or the mountain of laundry which has been waiting to get done for the last week.

Personally, I have felt all of these types of guilt and it weighed me down terribly.  I never felt like a good enough social worker, sister, daughter or friend.  I just could not measure up to the impossibly high expectations others had set for me and I had set for myself.

You will see a lot of this behaviour with new social workers or social workers entering a new type of social work field like child welfare where the demands are especially high.  Everything is coming at them at once and many feel like they are drowning.  Clients and management are usually not very forgiving when it comes to you not being able to stay on top of your workload.  When you make seemingly stupid mistakes to them they often forget that you are new to the position, overly tired, improperly trained or just burnt out.

Supervisors often wonder why we have anxiety about facing especially abusive clients, attending court, or attending meetings where we have to defend the decisions we've made.  Since we are expected to be the overseers of other people's lives it is assumed that we rarely, if ever, make mistakes, have bad days, or just generally feel insecure.  Social work is often presented with certainty but rarely are decisions black and white and rarely do we have all the information needed when we have to make an important decision.  We do the best  with what we have and if we realise a mistake was made in hindsight we find it hard to forgive ourselves.  We feel that we let our clients, members of their family, society, or supervisors down.  More importantly we feel like we have failed ourselves.  And of course we are going to get a talking to about the mistake afterwards.

I feel like I have come a long way as a social worker in being able to let my guilt go.  Instead of ruminating over decisions I have made in the past I have learnt not to hold on to guilt.  I can't see into the future and I don't know what is going to happen to all my clients one week, month or even a year from now.  I have to trust that these clients will do their best and that if they need help, professionals will be available to step in and give them some assistance.  I am not a perfect person and more often than not I did admit to my clients when I made a mistake.  I think it shocked many of them because they had not heard a social worker admit that to them before.  But we are supposed to be a team so how do you work together without honesty and forgiveness?

I have learnt to stay away from as many guilt producing social work situations as possible and that has meant changing jobs to a less pressure driven and risk prevalent atmosphere.  And people have noticed a difference in me.  I am calmer and I more honest about respecting my needs and boundaries.  But in no way did I I do this on my own.  I had support who reminded me when I was in a guilt or anxiety trap and it helped me to realise that I needed to let go and move on in my life.