Self Doubt

Self doubt.  It's one of social work's dirty little secrets.

They don't tell you while you are in school that many times you will: feel inadequate that you can't keep up with the work, be there for all your clients at all times, not feel that you are totally competent in your position, have guilt when you make a mistake, and get burnt out and disappointed when you can't rise above it.

I wonder if it is the need to help others that put us in the position.  Social work is a noble calling and it attracts a lot good hearted achievers.  Many of us are selfless, determined not to give up in the most dire of circumstances and are self-critical when we can't meet the impossible standards set upon us.  We rush throughout the day making phone calls, checking emails, attending meetings and doing paperwork and it is only at the end of the day that we feel we have not accomplished very much -because there are still things left on the to do list.

To be honest, it is a system meant to fail.  There are too many responsibilities given to social workers and there is often pressure to "just get it done somehow" when we have no idea how to prioritise all the tasks that seem to be important.  There is no time left to breathe, ask questions and analyse.  Sometimes I think the answers that we are looking for would come to us if we only had a moment of quiet.  We are constantly multi-tasking until we punch out at the end of the day and we wonder why we can't relax when we get home. 

Being honest and admitting the workload is too much is not looked on well by some supervisors who are also being pressured by higher ups.  We also feel like we can't be there for our clients because of all the administrative tasks that need to be completed.  Nobody says it's ok to be overwhelmed at times, and often the majority of support comes from understanding co-workers.  However, you have to be careful who you are honest with depending on the office politics. 

Social workers are not super human, even if they would like to be or are told they should be.  They are human beings, with flaws, trying to do the best work they can.  Family members often do not understand the frustrations, nor do the public as many do not have a favourable opinion of social workers.

Then there is the group that become so disillusioned that they feel they no longer belong in this profession.  I can't tell you how many times I've thought this myself and came this close throwing in the social work towel.  But how come I didn't?  I admit my weaknesses and the situations that are above what I can handle.  So I avoid those positions as much as I can but it's a tough learning curve.  I had to figure out I was not made for front line child welfare, even if I did feel like I belonged in child welfare overall.  It takes time to figure out your place in the field where you can balance out acceptable responsibilities with challenges. 

We all feel overwhelmed at times but if you want to survive in this field you have to come to peace with the overall nature of the job.  Many things are out of your control and you just have to accept that.  Try not to take the opinions of supervisors, unsupportive co-workers and clients seriously because your worth is determined by more than your job.  And that is what social work is - a job.  If it becomes a mission in life too often will we become disappointed when we feel that we cannot live up to the high standards that we set for ourselves.