Pets and the Social Worker

Animals have always been a part of my life.  Since I was a child we had a cat, dogs, hamsters, a guinea pig and a rabbit.  In my early 20's I got my own dog (who is still living with my parents) and then as I moved away to start my new career as a social worker I got my small dog Bella.

Eventually Tucker, a larger dog, got added to the family.  Things stayed fairly consistent with the two dogs and then about five months ago I rescued Hurley the cat from an animal shelter.

As I have mentioned in a previous post, I do not have children and I often wonder if I ever will.  My current social work job involves significant travel but overall it's a good fit for me and I cannot see myself giving up this job to start a family in the near future.  I am just not in a place in my life where I want the added responsibility and financial stress of having children.

Therefore, my animals are like my children.  They give me a lift at the end of the day when I return home from work tired.  I pet them and I can instantly feel my blood pressure lower and my breathing slow down.  Their presence helps to melt away my anxiety.

Recently though, I had to make a difficult decision when it came to my animals.  I had to give away Bella and Tucker.  Bella was constantly having accidents in my home, she consistently barked at any little noise and she and Tucker would often play fight rowdily.  There was little calm in my home, especially with Tucker being so destructive as I would often come home to a mess.

I thought about my options for a couple of months when it came to the dogs.  I loved them, and I always will, but I felt that they were exasperating my depression and I was becoming more and more agitated with their behaviour.  So, about three weeks ago I found new homes for Bella and Tucker.  It was incredibly painful and I could only tell my family about it after I did it.  In many was I felt like a failure, like I had let my dogs down.  However, I also knew that with my depression I had little motivation to walk them as much as I should and that emotionally there was little left I felt I could give them at the end of the day.  It was especially hard letting go of Bella, and I felt - and still do - a lot of guilt about giving her away.  When I was going through a lot of difficulties last year Bella was with me every step of the way and she helped me get through the tough times.  Yet, I was home with her more and able to curb her challenging behaviours by giving her increased supervision.  That was just not possible in my new social work job.

There were a lot of tears but I knew that Bella and Tucker would be in new homes where they would be the only dog and would get lots of much needed attention.  I decided to keep Hurley because as a cat he is more independent and does not require the same amount of exercise as dogs do.  One of my symptoms of depression is hibernating so if I spend the whole day inside, Hurley is alright with that.  He is also ok with short bouts of attention as after which he likes to settle down for long naps.

My boyfriend knows how much of an animal lover I am and realizes that caring for a dog is not the type of responsibility that fits with my life right now.  He is trying to talk me into getting another cat but I know how having two of the same type of animal can be three times the work.  I have visited the local animal shelter and looked at some very nice cats but I feel that Hurley is enjoying his freedom as being the only cat in my home.

Yet, for some reason yesterday when I was in a pet store, I felt drawn to the small animals.  When I was younger I had a guinea pig and a rabbit, however they require big cages and I just don't have that kind of space in my home.  I went to the hamster pen and saw several teddy bear hamsters and one smooth kind.  I picked up the smooth haired little guy and held him to me.  He seemed quite content to nibble on my jacket zipper and he did not try and leap from my arms.  He also had the most expressive eyes.  It was not my intention to get a pet when I went into the store but I considered it.  I had the space for a hamster cage and I knew that their food and bedding requirements are not very expensive.  I also knew that hamsters are social creatures but also independent.  I figured I would get much joy out of watching him in his cage and picking him up to pet him.  There was no walking required, and no vet checks.  Plus, Hurley would have a bit of company while I was at work.  So I took the leap and bought the hamster.  I quickly prepared his cage when I got home and put him inside.  He was content to sleep after his long journey and Hurley was very interested in him as he peered into Gizmo's cage.

I know that my house is complete with Hurley and Gizmo now.  There is no room for any more small animal cages and I cannot imagine where I would put another litter box if I got a second cat.  I have company and I feel that the attention that Hurley and Gizmo need from me is manageable.  I do not have anxiety if I work late, worrying that the animals desperately have to go to the washroom as they wait to be let outside.  And getting Gizmo is helping me with the pain of having to let go of Bella and Tucker.  I have wonderful memories of them but I also remember the overwhelmed feeling I had when they were here.  I believe I have found my manageable balance when it comes to my animals.  I look forward to coming home after work, knowing that there will be no destruction or messes waiting for me.  It is quieter now since Hurley only meows occasionally and I find the silence helps with my mood.

Animals can make great listeners, and the best thing is you do not have to worry about confidentiality when you debrief with them.  They do not judge, they provide unconditional love, and they can give us just the right amount of responsibility.  To be responsible for the care of little beings who are dependent on us for everything is humbling - especially considering what they offer us such as decreased risk of high blood pressure, lower chances of a heart attack and being a cure to loneliness.  It sounds like more than a fair deal to me.

As always,

Patti



 

Being Happy with What You Have

Lately, my professional and personal life have developed into a quiet routine.  I know what to expect at work, I am in a stable relationship, I regularly volunteer, and I am keeping up my connections with friends and family.  So finally, after so much searching and hoping, I have certainty in my life.

Then why is it during these moments of silent contentment do we get a nagging sense that we should be doing more?  Like at home at work we should be taking on more adventures to challenge us?

I wonder if after many years of dealing with crises as a social worker I have become addicted to the drama.  I am quite experienced at facing difficult situations, and having to deal with it head on rationally. The reason why I wanted to become a social worker is because I wanted to save people.  Not very realistic, I know but I was naive before I entered this field.  I am not so idealistic now, realizing that people have their own responsibility to address their issues and that we as social workers are more of a guide then a Mr. or Mrs. Fix-It to all their life's problems.

And honestly, being on a perpetual roller coaster is emotionally exhausting.  I have had social work jobs that were constantly stressful as there was no predictability.  I have also felt at times that personally I had no means of achieving my life's goals because I was so drained because of my job.

But now, almost a year into my new social work job, both sides of my life have reached a balance - for the first time in many years.  The crises I deal with at this new job are more moderate and fewer and fewer in between than the ones I have faced previously as a front line child welfare worker.  And personally, I have eradicated all that I have found to be stressful in my life.  I go home in the evenings after work and I have my own quiet routine.  I can get things done but I can also relax.  I am actually feeling productive and well rested. 

Work life balance.  I have finally found that elusive myth and discovered that it's real.  Sure, there are still things I could improve on like getting into better shape but overall I am healthy both physically and mentally and to me that is precious.  I am learning to love my life with the realization that I cannot have it all.

Yet, I do get those feelings that I should volunteer internationally on my vacation, take part time courses relating to my field and consider moving on to the supervisor track at work.  However, I have reached a balance where I am feeling efficient and competent in my life.  I have labelled what is most important to me in my life and made it a priority to only have people and things in my life which I value.  It means having to say "no" sometimes but it is worth it since I feel like I am living my life authentically and true to myself.  But one weakness I have is that like most people I can at times be materialistic.  I can't help but daydream about all the fantastic vacations I want to take, the additional professional degrees/certificates I can accumulate, the expensive furniture and clothing I could buy, and the amazing gifts I can get for my loved ones.  But I do not have the money for this, as I acquired debt while going to school for social work.  And really, should I be trying to buy others love or buying objects just for the sake of accumulating them?

The simple life.  Letting go and living it is not so simple.  But it is worth it to be happy with what you have, as you don't realize how complicated life can get when you are busy overreaching.

Take care,

Patti


Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.
- Guillaume Apollinaire

Substance Use and the Social Worker

In celebration of meeting and then surpassing the 7,000 viewed mark on my blog, I thought I would tackle an edgier topic for this post.

I have been aware of social workers using substances to cope with their stressful jobs since university.  Then, when I entered the work force I heard rumours of past and current employees misusing substances.  However, as with suffering from mental health issues, substance use in the workplace of social work is still taboo.

I am by no means an expert in this field since I specialize in working with children.  I have limited experience in counselling and it did not include assisting helping professionals.  So all I can offer is my  personal view of why some social workers may find themselves in this precarious position.

Being a social worker comes with it's fair share of challenges.  We are given an incredible amount of power and responsibility, however we do not always have the decision making authority we would like.  In a sense, we are trapped between our clients and management and neither the one can we make happy.  We are exposed to very stressful and sometimes dangerous situations where our emotional, mental and/or physical health is put at risk.  The bleak and unimaginable becomes a part of our daily lives and it can be rare for us to have positive or encouraging interactions with our clients.

Some social workers burn out and instead of taking a leave of absence they resort to external coping mechanisms like alcohol or drugs.  Internally they are unable to cope with the stress and pressure and they need an escape.  Substance use becomes a necessary act for the person so they can continue to function.  The substance use may occur at home, or it could blur into working hours.  Using during lunch or breaks becomes the norm and additional secrecy is added when the person tries to conceal the substances in their office.

It becomes a game of cat and mouse with the addicted person.  They do not want to need substances to function, however the fear of stopping is too great.  They are afraid of getting caught, however their addiction overrules their rational thinking and they continue using no matter how risky it is.  But then someone finds out - a coworker or supervisor and the person must face their demon.

At that point the social either walks away from their job, gets fired, or is supported by their employer into receiving some sort of addictions treatment.  Yet, if the social worker is also experiencing mental health or physical issues then all the reasons why they became addicted to a substance must be explored.

There are substance misuser's in every profession.  However, particularly in the helping professions like social work will you find those who become so overwhelmed with their work situation that they turn to drugs or alcohol to numb their pain.  I cannot condone their actions since in an altered state, these social workers could cause great harm to their clients through impaired decision making.  I do believe we should support our fellow social workers by approaching them in a respectful and caring way that we are concerned about them.  And if you do not feel comfortable speaking to a social work colleague about this issue, then find a compassionate higher up who can advise this social worker of the treatment services that are available through your employer.  Since in the end you may be saving not only their career, but also their life.

As always,

Patti

Sick Day and the Social Worker

We have all had those moments at work when we feel a bad cold or flu coming on.  Or perhaps we have been trying to valiantly fight off an illness and have realized that we need a good rest before we can finally beat it.

Normally in the past I would have balked at taking a sick day.  It was ingrained in me since I was a front line child welfare worker that you come in no matter what - since your clients and your supervisor's world would often fall apart if you were not there.

In my new position it is far more easy for me to take sick days when I am not feeling well.  I actually took a sick day recently.  I should have taken one earlier than I did because I just felt exhausted when I got up in the morning but I decided to go to work anyway.  Then by the afternoon I was getting a migraine and was still very tired.  I was able to finish up a couple small projects before I left and I gave my supervisor a heads up that I might not be in the next day.  My supervisor was understanding and I called her the next morning letting her know I would not be in.  And during my sick day I spent most of my time sleeping trying to get over this bad cold I had had for over a week.

I believe that there is a give and take with everything we do.  I was very busy at work a couple of weeks ago and I believe the following week I paid for it with my health.  I did not get enough rest before returning to work last week and my body finally reached the point and said enough.  Since I started this new position I have taken very few sick days so I do not feel guilty.  Especially when there are some people in my office who seem to take a sick day every week or two.  I do not abuse the system.  And I am starting to realize my previous mantra of never taking a sick day is just unrealistic.  We all have days when we feel bad either physically or mentally and just need some time off to to recoup.  It also ensures we are fresher when we return to work.

As social workers we have to monitor our sick days however.  If you begin to notice a trend that you are taking more and more sick days to have a "mental health break" or because you just do not have the energy or motivation to go into work this should be taken as a warning sign.  It is a clear indication that you are beginning to burn out and are losing your coping skills to deal with work.  If you find yourself in this situation you may need to take a serious look at the reasons why you are missing so much work and a break, job change, or a total career change might be in order.

Finally, I want to end this post by saying that if you do take a sick day, do not allow co-workers, or management make you feel guilty about missing meetings, paperwork etc.  You are a human being and you deserve a day off when you do not feel well.  Do not think that the only justifiable time for you to miss work due to illness is when you are in the hospital!  And when you are away from work, you might just find that management and clients are more appreciative of the hard work you do - since people often do not value what they have until it is gone.

As always,

Patti