The Overly Stressed Social Worker

Hello Readers,

Sorry there is no picture with this blog post today but I just got a new computer and only realize now that I should have gotten a mouse!

One big reason as to why I have not been writing regularly is because of my very broken computer.  I kept it for as long as I could since it has a nostalgia factor for me.  You see my mother bought it for me when I first became a social worker which was during a time when I didn`t have much money.  It was an unbelievably generous gift on her part but I figure it`s time to move on since it is hard to type a blog on my cellphone.

Now I will give you all an update on my work situation.  It has been extremely busy and stressful lately.  Even though I do not have a traditional social work job any more I still have a caseload.  And several of the clients on my caseload are having difficulties - which I am even hearing about from the community.  Many of my clients are expecting me to make big decisions for them.  They are wanting me to be the bad guy to those they are accountable to.  And overall I am feeling trapped by grey policies which I am trying to interpret to the best of my abilities.  My supervisor is not being supportive and right now the expectations I have on me are pretty ridiculous.  I have a lot of paperwork due soon and I seriously question how it is all going to get done.  And the worst part is I feel like my superiors will be judging me on my performance which they will likely view as inadequate when I cannot meet these deadlines.  Ugh!  I try and explain to those around me that I have a lot of responsibility and accountability in my job but I don`t think they quite grasp it.

For many social work jobs the pressure that is put on us is considerable.  Our decisions, actions and inactions have far reaching consequences.  Lives are impacted by what we do - and it is often the safety and security of others that can be effected.  We have a lot of people looking at us - especially when there are problems.  And where I work I cannot escape my clients - I run into them all the time in the community.  Therefore I am always the social worker, even in my personal life.

I think my problem is I care deeply for my work.  I try and give it 110% everyday and I don`t like it when the odds get stacked against me backing me into a corner.  I hate how things become my fault when I have no control over these crises in the first place.  I suppose it is the amount of responsibility that is truly getting me down.

And whenever work becomes overly stressful and intimidating I begin to daydream about a different life.  Like most people I begin to wonder what it would be like if I was doing something else.  I wonder about a job where it wouldn`t be suggested to me I take anxiety medication in order to `cope` with it.  I dream about a job which is more concrete - where making decisions isn`t so hard because you have so many details and possibilities to consider.  I imagine a job that has regular hours and where my employers respect my home life balance.

Overall I think about how much social work has taken from me.  In general I feel exhausted after all I went through since becoming a social worker.  I don`t know if there is a magically right job for me.  But maybe social work just doesn`t match my personality no matter how hard I try and make it fit.  All I know is that I have a lot of searching that I need to do and it is going to take time.  I am wondering if this is the last social work job I will do.  And I am seriously considering about moving on from this field in the future i.e within the next five years or so.  Whatever I do next, I hope it is quieter.  And the amount of money I get paid will not be the priority.  I have learned that more money does not make you happier.

Anyway, I hope I did not depress you my dear readers with the update on my work situation.  Honestly, the rest of my life is going fantastic!  And I am very grateful for that as nothing is worse than having both your personal and professional life going awfully at the same time!

Also, now that I got my new computer you can be sure that I will be updating my blog more regularly!

As Always,

Patti