Supervisor Update Part 1

Hi Everyone,

I figured I would give you an update about my work situation.  The rest of the week has been equally stressful as it was earlier.  More crises came up at work which had to be dealt with.  I suppose that is one of  the hardest things I find about my work - the surprises.  I feel like I have everything under control and then another thing comes up and I have to jump into crisis mode.  It's terrible for my anxiety and I am starting to get physical symptoms too like chest pain.  My supervisor is not helping either.  The other day she said that basically my clients like her more than me.  Sigh.  That was the last thing I needed to hear at the end of a very long week.  What she doesn't understand is that I need to ensure my programs are following policy and I can't always be their best friend.  It is not that I am mean to them or unfair, I am just doing my job.  And not being in a front line position, I don't think my supervisor can understand that.  She then also gave me a dig about how much time I had spent at a program.  Another sigh.  I don't know if I intimidate her or she thinks I will eventually go after her job but that's not the case.  Maybe this is one of the drawbacks in working in a mostly female dominated field - the drama.

For the past several weeks I have been considering my options.  I have enough debt that I need to stay at this job for at least 3-5 years.  I wonder about transferring to another position within my agency after that but to be honest I am getting tired of dealing with the public and having a caseload.  Since I am an introvert I am wondering if I should look at something quieter and more suited to my character.  I believe I went into social work with the best intentions of wanting to help people but there are so many other things involved.  I would love for my world to be more concrete instead of constantly having to consult and interpret grey policies to do my job.  I suppose it's more independence I am after.  But I don't want to consider a large decrease in pay either.  I have looked at some online certificate programs that are quite different from social work - but I feel that eventually I will become unsatisfied with those jobs as well.

I am greatly inspired when I read stories of people leaving their cubicles to travel but I don't know if I am that adventurous.  I have done my best to limit my obligations - I have no husband or children but I do have my debts.  However, once they are paid I will have more freedom.  Of course, there is also the option of staying in my job and field.  New supervisors and management will come and then go.  The agency will change and so will my duties in the future.  I could travel more as a way of making up for my stress at work but I am afraid of becoming angry and bitter inside.  Maybe the key is getting out of an office environment or finding a job where I can work more on my own with a routine set of tasks since I seem to do better with routine.

My mother has suggested I speak to a career counselor about my options and I agree with her.  It is something I am going to pursue in the new year.  She asks me when I am going to stay in one job for a while and stop moving around.  To be honest I don't find that very fair.  Several of my co-workers have tried different social work jobs and there are others who I know who have left the field entirely.  It's a fine balance for me, I need to protect my health while also supporting myself.  I think a lot of people are in this boat and not just social workers.  Society puts a lot of demands on us - to be confident, successful, wealthy, expert multi-taskers.  And if we don't fit or reject the mould we are seen as social misfits and questioned by any and all.  But deep down I think a lot of us are just trying to find our place in this world and many through our jobs.  However, since I don't see my situation changing any time soon I have resolved this week that I am not going to let the drama and crises get to me since I won't be in this job forever.

As Always,

Patti