I know in early posts this year I mentioned the possibility that I would begin dating again. The last serious boyfriend I had was before I entered social work school and I do not want to say how many years ago that has been!
To be honest, it just wasn't a priority. I had to move away for school and I did not know if I would be staying in that city after I graduated. Then once I did move across the country and get a social work job, I was more focused on keeping my head above water rather then review my relationship prospects! Sure, I did a little dating here and there but I just did not have the energy to commit myself to a relationship. Emotionally I did not have anything left to give to a significant other at the end of the day. And I wanted my peace and quiet after putting in a long and stressful work day which would often go past the traditional 8 hours!
However, when I got my new social work position last year it provided me with more stability in my life - regular working hours, predictable work environment, clear expectations, and a lack of emotional abuse from clients. It was refreshing. And it also gave me with the opportunity to consider other aspects of my life I had been neglecting.
After some cajoling from co-workers and family I decided to wade my baby toe into the tidal wave that is dating. There were some blips along the way, I got hurt and disappointed but in true social worker fashion I refused to give up - I wanted to have a positive outcome!
So I put in the effort, had a list of qualities in mind which were essential in my future mate and crossed my fingers that I would meet someone special.
I am sure for many social workers, especially those who have been in the field for a long time, our faith in humanity can sometimes falter. We see the worst of the worst as reflected in negative human behaviour and we often become jaded to the fact that there are any good people left in this world. I know I had my moments where I wondered if I could find an honest, loyal, good natured guy who would respect me and not use my heart as a punching bag.
It took some effort, but I did find someone who met my above qualifications. No, he is not perfect, but neither am I. He does not work in the same field as me, however he understands people. He is funny, down to earth and emotionally accessible. Will he ever understand the true nature of the work that I have done as a social worker? Probably not, no matter how much he tries to empathize. I often think of our roles as similar to those of police officers, nurses and teachers. We are part of a helping profession brotherhood and there are some things we have seen that we wish we could forget. But we also have to be open to moving on. We do not want to taint what is most precious to us.
Overall, in life we have major crossroads and smaller forks in the road. After journeying down a new path I decided to take a fork in the road, a type of fork I had not been down in a long time. I needed career stability in my life before I was able to cautiously step forward on this new road and so far, it has been worth it.
As Always,
Patti
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To were it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost
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