The Single Social Worker

This post might have been more appropriate for Valentine's Day but since my blog didn't exist then I will be discussing the single social worker now!

By being single, I mean living alone, or having a roommate, and not being in an ongoing relationship with a significant other.  I don't mean to exclude but since I have always been a single social worker that is the only perspective I have.

I remember when I moved across the country for my first social work job.  Many people thought I was courageous, especially when I told them I had moved alone.  That meant navigating airports, trying to find a place to live and buying a vehicle without the assistance of someone else.  Most definitely it was overwhelming since I did not have a lot of experience in any of these areas.  Looking back, I can see that I could have gotten a better deal for my vehicle but hey, the past is the past and I know better for next time!

In a way I suppose I was lucky that I had roommates in the beginning as there was always a couple of them willing to discuss the day with me.  Also, they were not involved with social work so they could give me their objective opinions.  And I guess it made it less lonely knowing that at least there was always another person around.

When I eventually moved into my own apartment I realised the importance of making friends outside of work to expand my horizon and to make the evenings and weekends less quieter.  However, as I go busier at work I appreciated the ability to sleep in and have naps whenever I wanted to! 

Managing a home including paying for my own utilities and internet was something new I also had to learn and many times with my job it felt like the responsibilities were too much.  Unpacking alone, cleaning alone and completing about a hundred other little tasks alone often felt insurmountable when I was already feeling burnt out from work.

Something that fascinated me however when I talked to my co-workers with families was how they managed to handle all the additional tasks that comes with being a wife/mother.  I honestly didn't know how they could do it.  I wondered how they could have enough energy to give to another person at the end of the day.  I know for me, I always enjoyed the sense of peace and tranquillity that met me when I returned home at the end of the day and I also appreciated the fact that I could put off cleaning etc. to a later time if I was not in the mood to do it.  I guess it's a matter of accountability.  I enjoyed only having to be accountable to myself and not having to compromise. 

I admit however that I could have used the extra help in the beginning but now that I am more settled in my career I feel like I've got the household duties under control.  Overall I feel I can manage my work and home life and this gives me a sense of happiness and pride.

I do wonder about the distraction however.  The "hi honey, how was your day" aspect of having a partner since it would keep me from ruminating about work at times.

These days women are more than capable of being able to support themselves with the right job - which I can attest to.  In many ways I am very blessed to have the salary and benefits that come with my job which allows me to be independent.  There is the stress that comes with the responsibility, however the trade off is most definitely worth it to me.

The Highly Sensitive Social Worker

Continuing with the theme of personality types, I thought I would delve more deeply and look specifically at the Highly Sensitive personality trait and how it relates to social workers and their practise.

First, the traits associated with being a Highly Sensitive person include: processing sensory data more profoundly, they are less productive when over aroused, they display intuition, are conscientious, prefer to socialise less with others, have good attention to details, do not do well when micromanaged, has a lot of imagination, are empathetic and are considered to be loyal employees.

People with this trait can also be mistaken as being shy, having a social anxiety problem and generally being fearful - which may or may not be the case depending on the individual.

*As taken from Wikipedia's article on the Highly sensitive person.

There are several books written on the subject so I will just briefly cover how having the trait can affect the social worker.

I will give an example of a day in the life of a social worker who is Highly Sensitive.  Here goes:

• Arrive refreshed after a restful evening at home
• Immediately feel overwhelmed by the blinking light of the telephone indicating several messages
• Have a feeling it's going to be a busy day but don't know why since there are no appointments scheduled
• Receive a report back from the supervisor with minimum corrections on it
• Relieved when your supervisor decided to hold off meeting with you to discuss your work since you feel like you've got a good handle on it right now
• Spend a few minutes contemplating the tone of the conference you will be having with a family in a few days, since you want it to be a balance of positives as well as areas to work on as to be fair
• Have lunch with a co-worker rather than eat with a large group of people in the lunchroom since there are many that you do not know as well
• Afterwards use your imagination to plan an a fun meeting with a teen client next week since they are not easily engaged
• Have a headache by mid-afternoon because of the fluorescent lights and constant chatter in the office
• A client arrives by surprise in crises who needs immediate support which you provide
• You are highly empathetic towards the client and feel drained after listening to their story
• Stay late after work because your supervisor asked you to complete a task that just could not wait and no other worker wants to do it

I think this sums up pretty well what the Highly Sensitive social worker would experience.  There are a lot of subtle instances where the trait is demonstrated, however unless you researched the trait you may not have made the connection that you have it.  I have to admit that I do have this trait and have found subject matter relating to it on the internet to be very helpful.  What many professionals say is that it is normal to be Highly Sensitive and that it is a part of who you are.  This means it is not something you should be ashamed of or feel that you must change.

As for tips, I would recommend: taking quiet walks outside the office when necessary, wearing sunglasses or turning off the fluorescent lights if possible in your office, wearing headphones to block out the extra noise, taking a breather for a few minutes after you feel overwhelmed with a client, co-worker etc.  Take time to regroup and relax your oversensitive body and mind.

Introverted vs. Extroverted Social Worker

In some ways this topic was the bane of my existence as a new child welfare worker at a busy city office.  I had several co-workers that thrived on crises, were adept at multi-tasking, loved being surrounded by ringing telephones, attending non-stop meetings and of course having conversations with co-workers in between.  I didn't envy them but I did feel different.  I enjoyed my quiet space to get reports done with minimum interruptions, talked on the phone only when necessary and tried to schedule breaks in between meetings as much as possible. 

Don't get me wrong, I was sociable to the group of people I immediately worked with but I was more reserved when interacting with other staff.  I just didn't have the same opportunity to get to know them.  It was also hard learning to be assertive in the beginning and oftentimes I was mistaken as being "shy" but when asked my opinion I would often give a well thought out response.  I also did not seek out conflict or crises unless it could not be avoided.  Many times I felt like I was playing a role at work when I had to be outgoing so that certain clients would engage with me. I also had to learn to be socially savvy in awkward and difficult situations so that my respect (and role) would not get trampled on.   But then of course afterwards I would always feel tired.

Like many social workers at the end of the day I was glad to enter my quiet home.  I would take this time to recharge and I enjoyed as few commitments as possible as they felt like work.  I still had friends outside of work of course but I was selective about spending energy on external activities.

Overall, this is what I have learned/observed from social work environments:

The Extroverted Social Worker

Pros: more easily assertive, comfortable in larger groups, get work done when there is a lot happening around them, can stand meetings, do not mind having attention focused on them, adept at handling tricky social situations, enjoys being a team player, and finds it easy to be talkative with clients.

Cons: less analytical, may not get a lot of work done if it is quiet, and is less reflective.

The Introverted Social Worker

Pros: observant, likes to work independently, enjoys to reflect heavily on decisions, and is successful at completing one activity at a time in a quiet environment.

Cons: less adept at multitasking, does not enjoy meetings, uncomfortable with attention, can feel awkward when talking to co-workers/clients that they are unfamiliar with, can appear shy to others, and feels drained when working with larger groups.

These lists are not meant to demonstrate that being an extroverted social worker is better than being an introverted one.  As there is a variety of personalities that clients display, so should there be different types of personalities that social workers posses.  Also, having a variety of introverted and extroverted social workers in the office can compliment each other.  It can only get uncomfortable if there is a monopoly of one type of personality in the office, or if co-workers are not willing to recognise and accept their personality differences.

Overall, from my personal perspective it has not always been easy being an introverted social worker.  I have to manage my workspace and when and how I communicate with clients to ensure I do not feel overwhelmed or too drained.  I have also accepted that being introverted is a part of my personality and that is not going to change.  Just as we accept the successes and challenges of our clients we have to accept that we have limits with what we are comfortable with depending on our personality.

Moving Away for Work

This is a topic which is very personal for me.  I had to make the decision after graduating from my social work program.  I had returned home from the city where I went to school disappointed because I could not afford to stay.  I then spent three months applying to social work jobs in my area tailoring my cover letter and resume to suit the nearly one hundred postings I had applied to.  It was disillusioning.  I had spent two years giving my life to this program only to find that I was only being considered for jobs that wouldn't even cover my student loan. 

So I came to a crossroads and had to make a more drastic decision, should I apply to jobs across the country if it meant finding a more suitable full time social work position?  At that time I felt like I really didn't have a choice since time was ticking away and I was still without a job.  I applied to postings in almost every province.  I thought it would be an adventure.  I waited and after a relatively short time I began to get calls from out west to all the jobs I had applied to and I continued to get calls even after I accepted an offer.  I believe it was only two weeks between the time I signed and faxed the paperwork and I left home for good.  I was hesitant as this was a front line child welfare job but I figured I had to start somewhere.  I would just tough it out as long as I could.

Moving, having a terrible sinus flare-up from the flight and then starting the next day was kind of overwhelming.  I was especially overwhelmed when I got a basic lesson on the child welfare database and then was given files.  I had no idea how to interact with my clients in this environment since I had not done my field placement at a child welfare agency.  But I watched my coworkers, asked a lot of questions and I steeled myself.  Within one week and definitely for sure after one month, I knew that this was not the social work permanent job for me.  How disappointing.  But I had to keep going and I told myself to hang in there.  That's the problem with social work jobs, they do not offer you a one or two week trial period to decide whether or not you will like the job.  There is also no job shadowing if you are a candidate unless you are a field student.  Looking back I would not have taken the job, especially knowing now how hard of a physical, emotional and mental toll it would eventually take on me.

However, I can say that this position gave me connections and that I moved on to a new social work job within the umbrella of child welfare.  Unfortunately, that has not worked out either and I am looking to try something different but that is a post for another day!

Besides the technical job related aspects of moving I have not yet mentioned the emotional.  It takes a lot of guts to move across the country by yourself (as many people have told me).  In many situations, especially when I was feeling low I knew that the only person I could count on was myself.  It was very frustrating at times as I wanted to hand over the responsibility to a partner and say YOU HANDLE IT!  But I couldn't because if I did not take care of all the little things then I wouldn't survive.  It gives you a lot of personal strength to face new challenges and adversity on your own.  You come to trust yourself, and eventually your instinct will lead you out of hard situations.

Then there is the loss of family connections.  Sure, you can still connect by phone and email but it's not always the same.  You want support on the bad days and you want to show off your triumphs on the good days.  If something goes wrong they feel bad about being so far away and you feel the same!  There are missed holidays and birthdays even though they remain in your heart.  But it does make the time you do get to spend together during visits even more special.  It also makes you envious when you see how much support your co-workers get with their own families close by.

However, moving is not all bad, you get to live in new environments, meet new people and learn different ways of doing things.  You feel more cultured and more knowledgeable about the world.  I also would not have gotten Bella if I had not moved out west.  She is truly my western dog while the dog that remains with my parents is my eastern dog.  I wonder if they were ever to meet if it would be a natural disaster!

Anyway, I cannot deny that there are many work opportunities out there for those willing to make the sacrifice and pick up their roots.  But think carefully about the position, is it something that you really want and honestly feel like you can do?  What about the environment?  Is it in a city or small town?  If you've visited it for the interview can you honestly see yourself living there?  What about losing your family and friends, would you be alright with only seeing them a few times a year or less?  If you truly feel like the financial and career rewards are worth the move and you have evaluated how it can possibly fill your other needs (like environment, spiritual etc) then go for it.  But let me warn you, you will get lonely at times and feel even worse when your family tells you how much they miss you.  You will wonder if you made the right decision.  Listen to your heart and it will tell you.  And if you don't like where you are living you can also move back and there is no shame in that.  You have to live where you feel like you belong and where you feel you can make a life.

This topic is close to my heart for another reason.  My brother is considering moving further away for work.  All I can hope is that he considers the decision carefully and does not jump in like I did as I have had to pay for my naive mistakes.  I wish him the best of course, and if he decides to live near me I have no complaints!

   

Home Visits

Not all social workers will be required to attend home visits, but if you work in child welfare like me it is a normal part of your week.

There are two types of home visits: unannounced and planned.  Unannounced usually occur if there has been a report of a child protection concern and the worker attends the home immediately.  Depending on the nature of the concern and the family's history with children's services the worker may attend alone if they do not believe their safety will be at risk.  However, if there are reports that either parent is intoxicated or if they have a history of being violent, the worker should attend with the police.

The planned home visit can occur as part of an ongoing investigation, it could be one of the terms of the court order, or it could be a part of the agreement that the family has to work with children's services.  These planned visits can widen with anyone receiving child welfare services or those who work with children's services such as foster parents. 

Usually there are identified goals to the meeting: to review and sign paperwork (including plans and court documents), receive/give updates, provide referrals, discuss ongoing concerns, and overall discuss progress.

Many social workers feel that it is difficult to squeeze in home visits due to their busy schedule.  However, it they may be breaching the court order if they do not attend the home as frequently as the order states.  Scheduling might also be an issue for the family, especially if they work or have several other appointments or programming that they must attend.  This may mean meeting the family at lunch time or after hours.  Supervisors may be reluctant to have social workers meet clients after hours.  First is the overtime and second is the security of the worker.  If the social worker feels in anyway uncomfortable with the home, even if it is an unsubstantiated concern they should attend the home with another worker during regular business hours.  This ensures other staff will know where they are and will notice if the workers are late returning.

Also for safety reasons, the social worker should always have a fully charged cellphone (preferably work phone) with them.  They should also avoid travelling in the dark.  Having a full tank of gas is also important, especially if it is a long drive to the home.  Most agencies should have policies such as these but I thought I would review them as sometimes it is easy to forget about these common sense policies when we are so busy! 

Too many times have social workers put their client's well being first while attending home visits.  As a result there are social workers who have been harassed, assaulted, and sadly even killed.  Each individual client and social worker is different however in general social workers try to see the best in people and they can ignore their intuition which tells them when someone might be dangerous.  We all believe that this can never happen to us.  But it does happen and the only thing we can control in these situations are our own actions. 

Rules that I have whenever attending a home is that I always keep the keys to the vehicle handy in my pocket.  I also lock my personal belongings in the vehicle out of sight.  I leave my shoes/jacket on if I have any feelings of uncertainty in the home or if it is not sanitary.  I have also heard of workers getting boxed in in driveways so I usually park on the road and up a ways if I am using my personal vehicle.  Also, I note the exits in the home and I try to sit nearest to the door in case I need a quick escape. 

Thankfully I have not been in any dangerous homes where my safety was put at risk but I do know that if it is necessary, I will not hesitate to make up an excuse to leave an unsafe situation.  Leaving the client's home does not make you a bad social worker, it makes you a smart one, even if it turns out later your fears were unfounded.  You do not want to get into the practise of not listening to your intuition.  Visits can always be rescheduled to occur at the office or at a public location.  If visiting the home is absolutely necessary, it is your duty to advocate that another worker go with you, or a police member attend if the home poses any risk to you.  You are not weak, you are using common sense.

Remember, as social workers all we have to protect ourselves are our wits!


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Taking Your Pet to Work

Do to a personal request the first topic I will discuss is taking your pet to work.  Obviously some ground rules apply such as: having supervisor approval, ensuring no co-workers are allergic to your pet, making sure you have regular breaks to take your dog for a walk, having a quiet workspace so the dog can lay down in your office or under your desk (if your office home is a cubicle), and cleaning up any messes (hair and you know what else!) the dog might make.  I apologise for frequently referencing dogs, as cats can be included as well - as long as they do not go off wandering. 
In a former social work position I brought my small dog Bella to work and it was a great experience for the clients.  I found them to be more open when petting to Bella and overall they seemed to have an easier time expressing their feelings.  However, I did find that I was exhausted by the end of the day after trying to do my regular work while also keeping an eye out for Bella.  But it was a great socialising experience for her as well.

Other than the enjoyment of having your companion at your side, it also relieves some guilt that comes with leaving your pet alone during the day while you are at work.  The health benefits are also something to consider as just the act of petting your animal after a stressful phone call or meeting can help to relieve tension.  It also gives you a boost to know that at least one person (dog counts right?) in your life loves you unconditionally! 

In my perfect world, Bella would be able to come with me to work everyday.  I know this is not a possibility right now as where I work does not permit animals - but it does make private practise sound all the more alluring if I knew that Bella could be at my side.

Also, after a stressful day, just remember to treat your animal with love even if you are feeling frustrated. It's not their fault that you might have had a bad day.

*Another note to consider: I DO NOT recommend exposing your animal to clients who have a history of being violent towards pets. While they are at work your pet is under your supervision and their safety should be paramount!!!

Future Topics

Happy April Fool's Day!  Although prank-wise it's been pretty quiet being a Sunday.

I have come up with a list of relevant topics which I hope to discuss on my blog in the future.  They include:

Peer Support
Self Doubt
Home Visits
Being On-Call
Social Workers in the Movies
Worker's Compensation
Support Systems
Moving Away for Work
Anxiety
Stress Leave
Personal Safety
Introvert vs. Extrovert
The Highly Sensitive Social Worker
Urban vs. Rural Practise
Taking Your Pet to Work
Advocating for Ourselves
Career Change
Sacrifices
The Single Social Worker

I am also interested in hearing about other issues that might be of importance to social workers so please post any suggestions.  I also hope to include links to articles that directly have an impact on us and our work.  That being said, thanks for reading and I will try to update soon!